Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Embracing Change and Being True to Yourself

I had a Wishlist post planned for today (you'll see it tomorrow), but it hit the back-burner when I read one of Fleur's recent posts: Identity Crisis.

In her post Fleur confesses that her style is under-going a bit of a change since she had bangs cut. She confesses that she's been straightening her hair, buying short, modern dresses and desires to be a little more sexy! The problem is that she feels like she's betraying her vintage image. Go read her post. She, obviously, explains how she feels much better than me. I'm paraphrasing like crazy here. Then come back and read the rest of my post! lol!

Here's how she looked in her post the other day:

I was really moved by her post. I, like many girls in the online vintage community, look up to Fleur. For a long time I aspired to her vintage perfection. I wanted curls and red lips and vintage dresses every day of life. I wanted vintage friends, parties and sponsors. (I of course, realize that we post our best selves on our blogs and that everyone has a personal life with trials and tribulations!)

I was going through my own identity crisis. I wanted so much to be a "vintage girl", but couldn't say no to my trendy shoes and modern jeans. I put up a pretty good fight, but it was always a struggle. And I never really felt like "me" when I was wearing head-to-toe-period-perfect vintage. And it didn't mesh with my lifestyle either.

I had to stop. I was mentally torturing myself when I "failed" and wore jeans and a tee-shirt for a day and I felt self-conscious when I wore head to toe 50's or 40's authentic look. It was ridiculous. Fashion and personal style is supposed to be fun. I wasn't having any.

I'm not sure what exactly happened to bring me out of it, but somewhere along the line I gave up. I think I wore  tee-shirts, jeans, runners and a ponytail for a few weeks. And eventually this got to me as well. I'd gone to the other extreme.

Again, I'm not sure how I came out of this. I think exasperation led me to stop caring what anyone thought about my wardrobe. I started wearing what I felt like. I Googled "vintage inspired fashion" and saved looks I liked. There was no doubt in my mind that I like wearing vintage, this would be the basis for my wardrobe. I discovered my tastes veer towards feminine details mixed with edgier pieces. I like contrast in an outfit: Something soft with something hard. Masculine and feminine. Old and new.

The other thing I've done is spend more time with my own closet. I used to do this when I lived alone. Play in my closet and try on crazy outfits. Some worked, some didn't. Playing dress up helped me look at the clothes I already own in a new light. I've started this good habit again. The Boy thinks I'm a bit nuts, but what does he know...Many of you good readers chided me for calling my wardrobe "lackluster" the other day. And you are right. I have an amazing wardrobe. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that. So you can see, the battle with my closet continues, but I'm working on it.

But back to Fleur's post. Like I said, I was moved by this post. I know what it's like to want to look one way and thinking I should look another. I feel for her. And I don't have thousands of readers I'm worried about letting down!

I think this whole issue becomes even more complicated with the addition of a vintage style blog. Having such an iconic personal style promoted all over the internet must make this change much harder for her. I'm sure I would be feeling the same thing.

I hope she embraces her personal style change! I look forward to seeing her style evolve!

We need to worry less about what others think and worry more about being true to ourselves, remembering that life isn't static, nothing in life stays the same forever.

What do you think about Fleur's post? Do you like her new look? Have you gone through a personal style crisis? How did you deal with it?Have you tried to go "all vintage all the time"? How did that work out for you? Do you think people expect a bloggers style to stay static for the sake of the blog? Especially with specialized fashion blogs? Am I asking too many questions? I'm just trying to get you thinking. 

I'm dying to know what you think about this issue.  



  1. I read Fleur's blog entry. I can understand her feelings that she may be betraying herself and her followers.

    I am 63 and the biggest regrets I have is not being true to myself so many times. Not making changes I felt I should make, not following my own star. Not in a selfish ignoring the needs of my husband and children but the more personal changes.

    Life isn't easy or simple but I do believe we know when it's time to make changes.


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