Saturday, March 27, 2010

I have a confession to make...

I'm tired! (Well, that's not really the confession, but I'm getting there...)

I have been having some serious blogger guilt these past few weeks. So much so that I have been avoiding my computer. Why you ask?
Well because I've been a deadbeat blogger. I cannot find the time/energy to post. This is directly related to the fact that I'm finding myself too tired to do my hair, or put on some cute vintage-y clothes for work (these days I consider myself lucky if I can manage to put my hair in a ponytail and co-ordinate my outfit well enough to look like I actually care!!) or even manage to take photos of those outfits that accidentally managed to replicate some sort of vintage vibe.

Why am I so tired? My new job is incredibly demanding. More demanding than any other job I've ever had. I start work at 7:30am and should finish at 4pm. I usually stay until 5:30 or 6:00. And it takes about half an hour to drive home. When I get home I try to make some sort of nutritious meal for The Boy and I and then I usually fall asleep on the couch around 8:30pm.
My weekends have been spent trying to catch up on housework and errands....ugh.

Ok. Enough whining.
Here's my confession:

I fantasize about being a perfect 50's housewife.

In my former life before my career in fashion I was a domestic goddess. I like to cook and bake and decorate. I get a secret thrill from admiring my house after a rigorous cleaning. I love nothing more than a perfectly set table. I thoroughly enjoy folding laundry. I live to cook for more than just myself...

Although, like most modern women, I do these things in sweat pants and a tee shirt. (But that's not the point)

I daydream of baking with perfectly coifed hair, red lips, full skirt and heels topped off with a small, but practical feminine apron. A tiny, but elegant bead of sweat forms at my brow while I hand mix cake batter; I delicately dab it away with the corner of my apron, never smudging my makeup or marking the apron. A perfect feminine gesture.

I long to serve a perfect, piping hot meal to my partner after his long day of work. Mine having been spent at home keeping everything in order.

Check out this article of 3 UK women who actually LIVE my fantasy every day! (I'm jealous!) My favorite is the first woman with the 50s house. Here she is:

I couldn't help but include this adorable video in this post: It's a modern spoof on the perfect housewife. It made me laugh out loud at least twice! Watch the muffin tin coming out of the oven! haha!


But seriously...

This whole fantasy really stems from my off and on resentment of the feminist movement. (I can feel the can of worms opening as I type this...please, no comments bashing me for my sometimes resentment. I swear this all goes back to my housewife fantasy, just hear me out!)

I can appreciate the whole idea of "choice" that women now have as a result of the feminist movement (stay-at-home-mom vs. working woman choice being the big one in my opinion. Yes voting is important too, but has nothing to do with baking, so we'll leave it out of this discusion). I do put the word choice in quotations because I really don't believe that we as women do have the choice in many ways. From somewhere in the world we have enormous pressure to be super women. To do it all! Have the great career, be successful in the working world. Be beautiful, thin, fashionable and put together! Be a mom and wife. Make dinner. Go to parent-teacher. Drive Timmy to soccer. Do laundry. Do the dishes. Etc etc...

This is a lot of stress and pressure that we/society have put on ourselves. I don't like it.

I want to be in a world where I only have to have one job. Where I actually get to choose: Housewife OR Careerwoman. Having to do both is not a choice. Whatever happened to the man being the breadwinner and the woman looking after the breadwinner? That's cool with me. I am also equally cool with the woman being the breadwinner and the man looking after the breadwinner. Men doing housework is ok in my books. I'm really just asking not to have to do it all!

Now I also understand that there are very lucky women out there who have men in thier lives who are equal to them and share household responsibilities; or better yet, do all the housework while she works! Kudos to you girls! In my experience those men are few and far between.

Now you see why I yearn for the perfect 50's housewife. Yes, they may have never existed the way they do in my mind, but that's why I say it's a fantasy. It's my fantasy and it can be whatever I want it to be.

Mostly these days I'm just tired.


  1. I agree. My husband and I both work full-time and are in school. As a result, the house is always a mess and we NEVER eat a proper meal. The only time we eat together is if we order a pizza and sit in front of the TV while eating it.

    It would be great if we could survive with just one of us working, but that's just not financially possible. And we don't even have kids!

  2. Firstly, I love love love your blog!

    I very much agree with the anti-feminist attitude. I'm all for advancing the rights of women, but if I want to bake a pie for my man, for goodness sake let me do it in peace. And if I wear heels it's not because the male controlled fashion industry has told me to, it's because my pants are 2 inches too long or my calves look fat today :P

    With that said, I also yearn to have the house husband, while I go off and build my career. (I'll save the pie baking for the weekends) Luckily I have a boyfriend who wants to be the stay at home dad. Whoa, look at me rant. :P Keep up the good writing!

  3. I couldn't agree more! I would love to eventually be a housewife but I feel this pressure to also have a career. I am all for the womens movement but the whole point was so that women could get a choice. I don't feel modern women have a choice anymore. We are just expected to have a perfect home, raise childern, and have a successful career :(

  4. Great post! I think your 'fantasy' resonates with more modern-day women than you realize. You're right about the not having a's tough to make due on one income anymore and since those equal-housework men are few and far between (at least my husband isn't...he sooner notices video games than laundry that needs to be done!)women are definitely doing double duty. Of course we're tired, we're not robots! :) And, on a personal note, if DH and I had the choice I would love, love, love to stay and look after our home and have a family rather than work. I'd trade in a heartbeat. And about the feminist ideology; since when do we need to be on par with men?! I read a quote once that was to the effect that why would women leave their position of honour to be considered equal with men. Essentially that feminists are fighting for a downgrade! LOL! Sorry about the long post but thanks for sharing your 'fantasy' with us :D

  5. I gotta say Lisa...your kind of woman is a rarity these days too. I am hard-working "single" guy (divorced actually, now longer than I was married) and because I live alone I do everything! If there are any '50s styled gals out there that want to...oh never mind!


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